Here are twenty great quotes from Eileen Schmitz’s Staying in Bounds: Straight Talk on Boundaries for Effective Ministry.

20 Quotes from Staying in Bounds:

“Boundaries are the concept of ‘where I end and you begin.’”

“A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn’t climb over it.”

“We usually don’t think about the nature of our relationships unless we have conflict.”

“Boundaries exist in the interpersonal realm…we don’t really “see” the boundary—we see the results of the boundary in operation.”

“A healthy dependence on others is characterized by asking rather than demanding they provide support, help, companionship, or other personal needs.”

“Sometimes we need to have negotiable boundaries and sometimes they need to be nonnegotiable.”

“Ultimately, poorly maintained boundaries result in us losing our autonomy and feeling as if we do not have ownership of ourselves.”

“God created the first boundary between Himself and humanity when He created us in Genesis one; we have Creator and creation.”

“When we try and break the laws of nature, such as gravity; we break bones and get hurt. When we try to break the laws of God, the same things happen at a spiritual level to our spirits.”

“While God did not call it “boundaries,” He did incorporate a principle into God’s creation that can be described as a boundary.”

“Treating other people well, exercising appropriate boundaries with others, and living a socially responsible life all begin with having a healthy relationship with God.”

“Ministers should rigorously pursue this exercise of examining our feelings, our boundaries, and our awareness of the impact of others on ourselves.”

“A good boundary promotes health for the individuals on both sides of the boundary.”

“Our behavior and thinking is largely determined by a “rulebook” unique to each individual, which is created over time.”

“At times, even a pastor with the best boundaries will not experience a favorable outcome.”

“When the pastor is unaware that some of his own personal interests are co-mingling with his professional obligations, the probability of an adverse outcome is exceedingly high.”

“Even when guardrails and foul line are explicit, pastors will still face challenges in enforcing those boundaries.”

“Pastors should model healthy boundaries for their parishioners.”

“Being a healthy pastor will not guarantee a healthy church, but being an unhealthy pastor will guarantee and unhealthy church.”

“Appropriate boundaries communicate to others that we have the highest regard for their ability to become all that God created them to be, for their intrinsic worth, and for their unique God-image.”